Drunk Guy in McDonald's

So, last night, I'm sitting in the South Side McDonald's with Matt and Joe and a guy brandishing a 24 oz. Natty Ice walks up to us and starts chatting. Well, it wasn't quite chatting. It was more like him philosophizing about the circular nature of the universe and telling us about how he's due to die in 10 years. Apparently, he was issued a citation for having an open container. Here's how the conversation went down:

Drunk: "You guys ever drink 100,000 beers?"
Me: "Yeah, just yesterday...."
Drunk: "Man, I got cited for just drinkin' beer. I was just hanging out drinkin' and I got busted."
Me: Where were you cited?"
Drunk: "At the police station."
Me: "You were drinking beer outside the police station?"
Drunk: "Yeah, man... at the police station."
Me: "Dude, that's the last place you should be drinking!"
Drunk: "What are they gonna do to me? Nothing. I just bought more beer! They'll never catch me!"

Then, he went outside and got on his bike and pedaled-off into the night.

What a badass. I want to grow up to be just like him.

- Murphy